Dead Gone Forever
by rearviewxmirrors
Summary: The night the Potters died. If Sirius hadn't been arested. RemusxOC Oneshot


**I have changed and reposted this. I had changed the story to fit Mary McDonald who is briefly mentioned in Deathly Hallows but have decided to put it right.**

**This is a oneshot about the night that they found out about the attack on the Potters. But it is what I think it would be like if Sirius wasn't arrested and all such drama. Just friends dealing with a tragic loss. It is in the POV of **_**Annabelle Stevens**_**. She is an OC from a story that I'm writing but it is no where near finished. It was pointed out to me that it might seem as if Annabelle and Sirius have had a relationship and the answer is no. They are just best friends offering comfort in any way they can.**

**I hope you like it. Read on!**

**Dead. Gone. Forever.**

I opened my front door to Dumbledore and Remus standing on the front porch. I was surprised to see Dumbledore at my house. That was a rare occurrence. Remus just showed up unannounced all the time.

Dumbledore looked like he had been crying at some point. He asked very politely if they could come in. I could hear the effort it was taking him to keep his voice as even as he could. I looked to Remus and saw tears streaming down his face and he was shaking so hard with the silent sobs. I immediately went over to hug him.

I was so confused as to what happened, but I knew that it had to be bad if Dumbledore cried and Remus, the strongest person I know, the person who doesn't cry in front of anyone (except me, like once) had broken down.

My mouth went dry as I was about to ask what happened. I turned to Remus and said, 'Remy, what happened, baby?'

He was able to calm down enough to say, "Its Lily and James."

I said, "What happened?"

"They're, dead."

"What?" I asked as if, if I asked again the answer might be different.

"They're gone." Was all he could say before he broke down again.

I dropped the two coffee mugs I was bringing over to the two men, and then I collapsed onto the ground, on top of the broken glass, where I was standing in the kitchen. I didn't even feel the long piece of glass that I had landed on and was sticking far into my left leg.

Remus immediately went to pick me up but I waved him off, not wanting to move. Instead, he brushed some of the pieces away and sat down with his back against the kitchen island and pulled me into his lap. We held each other until we had no more tears, until all there was left were great, dry, racking sobs. And still it wasn't enough. We both cried ourselves to sleep.

In the morning I woke up to snoring. I started to stretch when I realized the position I fell asleep in. I was in Remus' arms. I looked at Remus, who was clutching onto me like I was the last solid thing left and if he let go, he would simply float away. I shifted myself so I was curled facing his chest. I breathed in his scent and felt instantly calmer. I buried my face in his neck before I fell asleep again.

This time I woke up to Remus stroking my hair and laying sweet kisses on top my head. I felt strangely numb. I couldn't remember the previous night. This time I was awake enough to register that the snoring didn't belong. Remus and I were both awake. I looked to my couch and saw a person curled up into as tight of a ball as he can make himself.

Sirius Black was in the fetal position on my couch. He usually doesn't snore.

He must have been given a dreamless sleep potion. But I couldn't figure out why. Why would someone do that? And who came? How did Sirius end up on my couch?

I tried to remember anything about last night. I looked down and realized that my leg was glass-free and there was a bandage that was almost soaked through with blood. I tried to remember how that happened. Tried to remember why there was glass in my leg in the first place.

Everything came rushing back like an oncoming truck. James and Lily. Dead. Gone. Forever.

I remembered dropping the glasses when Remus told me. I fell down and didn't even feel the piece of glass that had made me loose a lot of blood. I recalled Remus pulling me into his lap, and then everything went black.

I started to cry again. There were tears streaming down my face. I was surprised that after last night, I had any tears left. The only difference between the tears was that now they were silent. When Remus noticed that I was crying again, he kissed away my tears as his own started again.

I leaned up and kissed him as if I, too, would die at any moment. Remus pulled away and held my face in his strong hands.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you more than words can say," I replied.

I rested my forehead against his. We stayed like that until we heard Sirius move on the couch. I got up from his arms and walked over to Sirius.

"Siri?" I would have asked him if he was okay. That was an automatic question. But I already knew the answer. Of course he wasn't. None of us were. I don't know if any of us would ever be whole again.

"Annabelle? Why are you in my house?" Sirius was really out of it.

"Siri, you're in my living room."

"Wha-?' Sirius looked around and saw that he was indeed not in his house, but my living room. "What happened?"

I was kneeling next to the couch, in front of his head, while stroking his hair. "There was an attack."

"An attack?"

"He went after Harry. Lily and James died trying to protect him."

Sirius' eyes filled up with tears. "Trying? Did he . . . make it?"

"Harry lived, yes."

Sirius opened his arms to me for a hug, for some kind of comfort. I hugged him briefly before I stood up and pulled Sirius with me. I held his hand as I walked him to my bedroom. As we walked by the kitchen, I looked to Remus and held my other hand out to him. He stood up and grabbed it. The three of us walked into my room. Sirius let go of my hand and crawled onto my bed. He held his arms open to me again for a hug. I crawled into my bed next to him and curled up in his arms with Remus following my lead. I was sandwiched in between Sirius and Remus. And we stayed like that for hours. None of us moving. None of us talking. I don't think there was anything to say. We all held each other, deep in thought.

I had gotten into a fight with Lily the day before she was murdered. The last thing I said to her was 'Good, leave. I don't need you here!' I had never imagined that they would be killed before I had time to say I was sorry. Before I could give her one more kiss on the cheek and tell a goofy inside joke in public just to see how many odd looks we could get. I loved her and I wish I could have told her so. I know that she knew it, even if I didn't say it before the attack.

And every night I woke up in a cold sweat, screaming. And to my wonderful surprise, Remus sat up every time and pulled me into his lap, holding me, stroking my hair, rubbing my back, whispering in my ear, laying soft kisses in my face. He would kiss my nose, and then kiss my cheeks, each eyelid, and several on my forehead. After that, he would kiss my lips. The kisses were soft and sweet, gentle and kind. There would be no lust, just pure, unadulterated love.

Occasionally I would make then turn from innocent to lustful. I tend to get out of hand every once in a while. But Remus never turned it into something more. He never turned the innocent into the lust-crazed. However, once I made it into something else, he responded in the same fashion.

Eventually we all healed enough to not need to take a dreamless sleep potion every night. Things got easier once we realized that in order to live our lives, we needed to choose. We needed to decide which life to live. If we were to move on, as well as possible in this kind of situation, we needed to give up their lives because we don't have room for both. It was a very hard think to do, but we managed. But we never really healed. I don't think it's a possible thing to do. We will always have a piece of our heart missing, a piece that will never be there again. But we need to stay strong, for each other.


End file.
